It’s Got Zombies, Man!

ZOMBIE by H.M. Ward

Release date: Summer 2012 (August, maybe sooner)

Description:

“The world is being invaded by zombies and there is only one way to survive.  Find it in this interactive ebook where you are the hero.  Evade brain-munching zombies as they take over your street, eating your neighbors brains, and trying to get their hands on yours.

This book has dark humor to make your adventure more fun, as if you needed more fun!  It’s got zombies, man!”

ZOMBIE is only available in ebook format.

I’ve not said too much about this book.  ZOMBIE has already been written and is done.  It’s sitting because I’m a bit nervous.  I mean, it’s zombies!  Ah.  Maybe I should get over that and just release it already?  We’ll see.  The latest release date is August 2012.  That’s my drop-dead/ zombies ate your brain date.  I’ll keep you posted!  In the mean time, stay outa Miami cuz they got some real face-munching zombies going on down there.

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The Role of Bunnies in the Apocalypse (aka the Grackles are Evil Post)

You might see one of these birds, known as a grackle, and think – oh, a nice little crow. You might even think it’s pretty and cute like this little grackle right there.

But, don’t let it fool you.  (They don’t really look like that.  See the evil grackle depicted below).

This is the evil kinda bird that inspires birds everywhere to become evil.

Don’t believe me?  Well let’s examine this foul fowl.  (Bitchin’ 60′s lingo!  oh yeah!)

It has beady little black eyes.

All the better to see you with while it pecks your eyes out.

Good birds have nice big eye balls like Precious Moments figurines.

Its plumage is the color choice of creatures of the night everywhere.

Okay, think about it. Would Big Bird be such a good guy if he wasn’t yellow?

 

It’s never alone. If you happen come across one grackle, get ready to duck and cover b/c there are 40,000 more grackles behind you, ready to peck your eyes out. They are like flying rat roaches. Nice animals don’t swarm. When was the last time you saw a swarm of 1000 cute and fluffy bunnies? Btw, if you do see a pack of bad ass bunnies, its only b/c the grackles saddled them up cuz they didn’t want to fly anymore. Cute bunnies work well for their MO.

Sure, people will think, “Oh look a cute bunny, and another, and another.” Then they notice there are 1000s of bunnies!!! But it’s too late. The bunny decoys lured the stupid human right where the grackles wanted.

Now the dumb human is surrounded, and the grackles are thinking “I call the eye balls!!!!” There is never only one grackle. If you only see one, it’s already too late. You’re a dead man.

Its name is evil. GRACKLE. Does that sound like a nice little love bird to you? Any name that makes you scrape phlegm out of your throat is indicative of a bad bird.

Let’s try these famous/ nice bird names: Big Bird. Sounds pretty. Sounds nice. No throaty scrape-ie sound.

And that’s the end of the list. Why? Cuz most birds are evil! Yeah, Ravens, Crows, and the ultimate evil bird – GR(insert phleg

m here)ACK(spew a little)LES(cuz they are never alone).

Its call is unnatural. Have you ever heard these things? You’d expect a crow caw or bird song of some sort, but no. Evil birds don’t sing. That’s why Disney didn’t paint a grackle tweeting back at Snow White from its perch at the end of her pretty little finger.

They make horrid noises that make listening to fingernails on a chalkboard sound pleasant. Grackle calls sound like crushing a cat in a trash compactor. Now multiple that by 1000 because grackles never travel alone.  If you don’t remember that part, you are totally screwed!

Anyway, that noise is not birdsong. It’s a war cry that the evil birds screech before they dive to peck out your eyes.

The first time I saw these flying rat birds was at night. 1000′s of them swarmed in the dark. The filled every tree within sight, making them look like they were topped with tar. Add in the awesome sound, and I finally understood why the movie The Birds was freaky.
The first time I saw it, I thought it would be like being pelted by butterflies. Who’s afraid of birds?

With an attitude like that, it’s easy to see why a bird apocalypse is inevitable. Grackles could use their bunny army decoys and then swarm in en masse.

People would be like, “Look, pretty birdies!” while the evil grackles took over the earth.

Grackle Apocalypse Survival Tools:
1. Duct Tape – Wrap your house, doors, windows, porch, everything! with the sticky side of the duct tape facing out. Actually, you need to have that neighbor down the street do it – you know, the one you hate and wish would suddenly have to move to Antarctica. Tell him you’ll do his house next. That way you are safe in your sticky grackle-proof house and your crappy neighbor is stuck outside during the grackle attack. Since mean neighbors are dumb, he won’t notice until it’s too late.

2. One Cat – Oops. That won’t work. Grackles eat cats. Obviously they make those hideous grackle sounds the loudest in trees, b/c they are eating live cats up there, and using trash compactors to tenderize.

Use cats as bait to lure the flesh eating grackles to your mean neighbor’s front porch.

Place the cat on the mat.

Ring door bell.

Run like hell.

3. Bunnies – Use bunnies as double decoys. This will fool the grackles since they use bunnies to attack. A few randomly placed bunnies will make the grackles think they already invaded your house.

Be sure to put little saddles on the bunnies. This makes them extra cute, and only the really evil grackles use bunny saddles. All the marginally evil grackles will stay away.

Disclaimer:

This is not an exhaustive list of how to defend yourself against grackles. The author cannot be held liable if you get pecked, attacked, or eaten by grackles. Big Bird is in no way affiliated or involved with grackles of any kind. Emo Elmo does not exist, nor was he in a grackle gang. Snow White does not fraternize with evil birds, and avoids all grackle-like birds since she was in the woods when her step-mom tried to have her heart hacked out by a crazy-ass hunter. Sam Butcher continues to create very cute Precious Moments figurines, none of which were attacked by grackles.

This post was written, in satire, entirely for the purpose of getting the readers ready for CURSED by H.M. Ward, the sequel to DEMON KISSED. Now you know what grackles are…be prepared. Tape, kitty, bunny! CHECK!

This is a reposting of a blog from June 8, 2011.  CURSED is on sale for $3.99 this week!  Go grab it!

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New Demon Kissed Series Book Covers! (YA Paranormal Romance)

Okay, I told you that there would be new covers and that it would be a while.  Apparently, a while is about 24 hours in Hollyland.

Assassin is the next one to get a make over, but the other 3 are done!

Get ready!

You ready!?! Here they are.

Now you can tell all these books are in the same series by looking at the cover.  

And they are all gothy pretty!!!

Demon Kissed got a revamp of the 2nd Satan’s Stone cover.

The Satan’s Stone and Torn covers got brand new covers.

Have I told you that I <3 purple?  I do!

The print editions will all change to these covers shortly.  Demon Kissed has already been altered to the new

cover.
If you would like a signed copy of the books with the original covers, make sure you grab them NOW.  I only have a few of each book.

The Kindle and Nook editions have been updated to show the new covers.  To celebrate, CURSED ($3.99) and SATAN’S STONE ($4.99) are both on sale this weekend!

Next cover to get a make over – ASSASSIN!  Eric needs his cover awesomified!  Have a great weekend!

 

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New Demon Kissed Book Covers

 

I’ve been thinking about re-doing some of the covers on the Demon Kissed series for a while. The bestselling series don’t have the best continuity when it comes to their covers.  Besides the font and the appearance of the ring in the 1st five covers, there isn’t anything stringing them together.

I’d like to change that and update all the covers to have the feel of books 4 & 5 – Satan’s Stone and The 13th Prophecy.  I realize that might confuse people.  I just wanted to give the fans a heads up.  The paperback covers will change 1st, then the ebook covers.

If you want one of the 1st editions with the old covers, better grab one now.  DEMON KISSED has already been revamped.  The new cover looks a lot like SATAN’S STONE.  CURSED will stay the same.  TORN and ASSASSIN will get a face-lift.  I think Eric should grace the cover of his book.  These changes will be made over the next moth or two.  I just wanted to let the fans know!

There is also a hush hush secret in the works.  Should I tell you yet?  It’s the main reason why I haven’t had time to change the covers.  Well, you know how you read about all these awesome places Ivy goes & the Underworld creatures that she sees?  The Lorren, Omen, the golden flowers, the Pool of Lost Souls?  Well, I’m working on illustrations of those.  Many of you know I’m and artist–and a perfectionist–so those won’t be ready any time soon, but its time consuming.  And so worth it!

In the mean time, the covers will shift to awesome images of Ivy and Eric and Collin (eeep!).  And I’ll post teasers of the art work as soon as I can.

To grab one of the last signed copies of the old Demon Kissed cover, go here.  I have about five remaining.

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Assassin – Demon Kissed #6 was Released!

ASSASSIN (DEMON KISSED #6) was released!

Demon Kissed #6, you say?  There are more than 5 books in this series?  YES!  After much discussion with fans and my editors, I realized that I confused the bejeebers out of most people.  I really didn’t want to do that.  So, we to fix that, we decided to continue numbering the series through book 10.

Fans asked some very good questions during this discussion – like will the last books in the series flip back to Ivy’s P-O-V or will we be following Eric around the whole time?  Great question!  My current thoughts are that we will be following Eric for the most part, but that we will flip back to Ivy at some point.  After you read Assassin, you’ll see why.  Eric and Ivy’s fates were intertwined before, and it becomes clear that they still are.  While it may seem that they are through with each other, they aren’t.  Not quite.

And Assassin introduces a new character, someone that will give Eric a run for his money.

ASSASSIN is out today!  And it’s on sale for less than $5!  Actually, the entire series was marked down for release day!  So go get caught up on your reading!

Here are links to grab the ebooks on:

Paperback links will be up in a few more days and they will be available in Europe!!!  Hooray!

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Demon Kissed Crosses the Pond

The entire DEMON KISSED series and other hot titles by H.M. Ward will appear on Amazon’s European websites really, really soon!

That includes Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.de, Amazon. fr, Amazon.it and Amazon.es.  I’ve been having fans ask me for a really long time, and I’m so happy that they can now get the paperback edition as well as the ebooks.  It’s amazing!

The listing will appear shortly.  Thank you so much for <3 this series!  You guys rock!

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Teaser: Assassin (Demon Kissed #6) by H.M. Ward

Fall of the Golden Valefar, Demon Kissed, Ivy Taylor, HM Ward, Ella SteeleASSASSIN: FALL OF THE GOLDEN VALEFAR (Demon Kissed #6) by H.M. Ward

Teaser:

“Eric’s gaze burned holes into the house. There was part of him that was eased by her suffering, but it paled in comparison to the anger that her words incited. This was wrong, and he would stop it. Eric walked away from the house, knowing he had to plan this perfectly or there would be unwanted complications. This was not supposed to be the next mark, but it was now.

He deserved it.”

Excerpt from: Assassin: Fall of the Golden Valefar by H.M. Ward

Release date: May 20, 2012

Follow the link to pre-order a signed copy: http://www.demonkissed.com/ordersignedassassin.htm

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Reviews & Signed Copies of Scandalous by Ella Steele

Look what I got!  And this is only the 1st bunch I signed.  My hand is gonna fall off!

If you want to grab a signed copy of SCANDALOUS by Ella Steele (my adult fiction pen name), you still can!  Follow this link for ordering info.

And for those of you who were wondering if this book is for you, here are some of the reviews and they are all spoiler-free!

“This read was amazing! Always living up to my expectations, amazing writer, even stepping out of her norm! It def made me blush, and still couldn’t put it down! Must read!” -Tiffany via Facebook

“I love the cover! This was a very fast read. I read it very quickly. I was always wondering what was going to happen next. I figured something had to happen it was just to perfect. I like perfect :) … I loved the painting in the book. I could picture them (Jack & Abby) in my mind when reading. Especially when he gave her the tour. The cover of the book is pretty much how I pictured the painting would look. The ending was perfect for their story :)” -Brittany Spare Time Books

“Scandalous had such an appeal! The combination of art and sex was swoon-worthy since I love to paint myself. When I was reading this book it reminded me why I loved art so much and realize the the hidden depths of the creative world that I didn’t even know existed. Jack Gray and Abby Tyndale’s story was one to remember. If I could, I would so love to get one of Jack’s paintings in my hands!” -Christina My Fair Books

“I am writing this on 3hrs of sleep because I stayed up to finish this delightful book. It is a quick read that intrigues you from the cover to the last page. I loved the art that was portrayed, and in my opinion the cover is a wonderful rendition of “The Scandal”. Abby and Jack are wonderfully flawed characters who would sacrifice anything and everything for the one they love. I am amazed at the depth and growth of the leads…I can say that even though it will be a tough day at work with little sleep I still have a smile on my face, a flutter in my stomach and have to take deep breaths remembering certain scenes like the patron walk in the gallery. Bravo Ella Steele! I base my 5 star rating on readability of a book, the unwillingness to put it down and the way the story/characters stay with you.” -Sarah via Goodreads

“This might be the sexiest book I have ever read! H.M Ward has stepped out of her usual YA genre and created a masterpiece! Sooooo freaking sexy!” -Lesile via Amazon

Grab a copy of Scandalous now via Amazon, B&N, or Smashwords.  If you ordered a signed copy, those shipped out today.  Check your mail boxes for something steamy to read this weekend!

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Sneak Peak at Demon Kissed #6: Assassin-Fall of the Golden Valefar

Fall of the Golden Valefar, Demon Kissed, Ivy Taylor, HM Ward, Ella Steele

Chapter 1 from ASSASSIN: FALL OF THE GOLDEN VALEFAR (Demon Kissed #6) by H.M. Ward

There is neither pure goodness nor pure evil in your heart—you are what you choose to be.

The words rang like crystal in his mind.  Eric hadn’t seen Ivy for years, but her voice—her words—they still haunted him.  When he closed his eyes he could see her face, her endless brown eyes.  Shaking the pictures from his mind, he pushed them back.  The past was the past.  This was his future.  Eric tightened his grip on the piece of brimstone in his hands, ignoring the look of terror in the eyes of the woman he had pinned to the floor.

Julia.

All of her model-esk qualities were faded like sun-soaked parchment.  Her light brown hair spilled around her face forming a halo on the ground, but she was no saint.  The Martis were supposed to be the epitome of goodness—they were the angel’s hands in this world—but this woman abused that power.  She sentenced Eric to death because he did what was right, and he wasn’t the only one treated unjustly.  There were others that she destroyed, others who opposed her.  The Martis should have been slaughtered during the war, but Ivy didn’t deliver justice.  She offered repentance.  The thought baffled him.  The Queen of the Underworld showed mercy.  It was odd, but that was the way Ivy was.  She never did what he thought she would do.  Ivy seemed to follow her own path, no matter the cost.  That was what Eric was doing now.  Carving a new path, a path that would be set in stone once his blade was buried deep within Julia’s heart.

Julia hadn’t spoken.  Eric took her by surprise, killing her guards before they had time to react.  He was a skilled warrior—a Seraphim by birth.  The black blade tightened in his grip, but Julia’s eyes remained on his face.  She laughed softly, speaking in an Italian accent with disgust, “I should have destroyed you long ago. I saw what you were—even then.”

Eric’s eyes sparkled, glinting like amber gems in the early morning sun.  They were in the courtyard of the Martis compound in Rome.  It was the only building that still stood, though its magic hid it from the humans that survived.  “What was I, Julia?  What was I when you sentenced me to death,” he leaned in lower, spitting in her perfect face, “for protecting those who wouldn’t protect themselves?”  The tension in his shoulders was building.  It was all he could do to keep the blade from spilling her blood.

She sneered, trying to inch away from his blade as it pressed harder against her skin.  “You are, and always have been, an abomination.  An angel stripped of power, a mortal who’s not quite human, a Martis that was tainted by that girl,” she spat the words at him, “and now what are you? A Valefar with a golden mark on your brow, a being more evil than the last, sent by the Queen of the Underworld after her false show of keeping her word.”  Julia was shrewd.  As if things suddenly became clear, she shook her head slightly, her tone hardening, “But this isn’t about her, is it?  It’s about you.” Eric swallowed hard, the tension in his arms burning, as he tried to hide the thoughts flashing through his mind.

Julia’s lips pulled into that arrogant smile, the smile that was said she knew she was right, “It’s about your blood, blood lacked clarity from the beginning—clouding your judgment—making you an outcast among your own kind.  You never fit anywhere, with anyone, and you never will.  That is how you know what you truly are, a creature that shouldn’t exist, but I showed mercy—even when you couldn’t see the truth.  I let you live.”  Her sharp voice dropped off, as if she was going to say more but thought better of it.

Eric’s knees pinned her arms. He perched on top of her ready to strike, but there was a battle playing out inside his mind.  It was as if he could hear her voice.  Eric thought he was losing his mind.  Ivy couldn’t come to the surface; she couldn’t physically speak to him here.  There was no way her voice could be echoing in his mind, but it was there, crystal clear.  At the same time, he could feel something tightening around his arm, as if it could restrain him.  The sensation wasn’t the full force of a shadow clutching his arm.  It was more like a whisper of a sensation coupled with the pleading that rang in his ears.

Don’t.  Please, don’t.

Eric remained rigid, keeping Julia trapped beneath him.  She didn’t struggle.  Her placid face hid the terror that swam in her eyes, but Eric could sense it, he could feel her fear.  It wasn’t her words that unhinged him, it was that whisper, that silent plea that only he could hear.  It was there every time and growing softer, as if he were moving further and further away.

Eric knew that was no longer fit anywhere.  It was something he was acutely aware of, and although Julia said it to get under his skin, she only restated what he already knew.  He wasn’t an angel. He wasn’t mortal.  He was not kin to demons—Valefar—thought he bore their mark and could wield their power.  Eric didn’t know what he was.  The only thing he did know—the only thing he was certain of—was that he had to quench the insatiable burning in his heart.  He had to ease the pain, and this was the only way to do it.

Eric muttered Ivy’s words softly, “You are what you choose to be.”  His eyes were vacant, unblinking golden orbs.  There was a moment when Julia’s lips curved up at the corners, thinking she’d gotten through to him.  The panic slid off her face as a cool rush of relief washed over her, but it was short-lived.  No one could possibly know what was going through Eric’s mind, no one would understand.  Though he heard the whispers, the silent pleas to stop, he couldn’t.

Eric’s brimstone knife came down hard.  Julia sucked in a breath and tried to twist out of Eric’s grip, but she failed.  Once Eric pinned his prisoner there was no escaping.  The blade swooshed through the air, the tip shining like a cracked black tooth.  The blade sank into her skin, nicking a rib, but Eric forced it past the bone.  There was only one way to kill a Martis—he had to pierce her heart.  Julia’s body moved of its own accord, attempting to evade Eric before it was too late.  She bucked up hard, slamming her head into Eric’s.  Blood flowed from above her brow.  Eric released the hold on her arm, and grabbed her neck. Eyes blazing like twin fires, he squeezed tightly, while holding the blade, twisting it past the bone in her chest.

“Those who can no longer see the truth, don’t deserve to live,” Eric growled, throwing her statement back in her face.

Julia’s lips opened, but blood bubbled up, obscuring her words.  Eric leaned in, bringing his victim closer to his lips.  With a flick of his tongue, he tasted her blood, grinning at her while he did it.  Julia’s eyes were wide, her hands trying to push him away.  For a moment the only thing he could feel was Julia’s surge of pain and fear.  It stilled him. As he basked in the sensations the constant pain that consumed him dissipated, and he felt free.  The ache around his bones eased as did the sensation of a gaping hole in the center of his chest.  For a moment he felt whole, complete.  There was no writhing, no biting back words from a tongue sharpened by pain.  His eyes closed, soaking in the sensation as if it were sunshine.  Eric’s hands were covered in blood, oozing scarlet from Julia’s wounds.  Her flailing and screaming didn’t ruin his thoughts, if anything her terror made him more at ease. But the feeling was fleeting.  It always was.  That was the problem.  There was no peace for Eric, no rest.  This was as close as he came.  The thought made him twist inside, but he had no regrets about this killing.  Justice needed to be served, and this woman deserved it.

As if she realized this was her last chance, Julia’s panicked desperation won out.  She lifted her hand and smashed the heel into Eric’s face, hard.  She felt the crack of bone beneath her palm, breaking his nose and causing blood to rush out.  Eric’s arms tensed in response and he drove the blade into her heart.  A scream rippled the air as Julia was dying.  Blood flowed between her lips, spilling onto the pale patio bricks in red splatters.

With a thud, Eric dropped her and stepped away.  Folding his arms over his chest, he watched her die at his feet with wide eyes filled with fear.  The site of the brimstone wound turned black, spreading rapidly through her body.  It spread through her body in lethal tendrils, killing her from the inside out.  It was pain like no other, and Eric knew.  He’d been a Martis—a human infused with angel blood—after the curse.  Eric’s life as a Martis ended abruptly, painfully.  It was etched into his mind.  He could still feel the brimstone devouring him, slowly eating away at his flesh, burning away his muscle like acid.  He could still feel Ivy’s hands on his shoulders, pulling him onto her lap.  He still felt her soft touch and saw the tears streaming from her eyes.  She mourned him.

But, Eric felt no sympathy for Julia as the poison destroyed her.  He gazed at her wide, pleading eyes with a sadistic smile ignoring her garbled pleas for help.  As her flesh blackened with inky vines just beneath the surface of her skin, he knew how much agony she was enduring.

It gave him a second moment of reprieve, and he felt whole again.  There was no pain.  Eric closed his eyes, and breathed in the cool morning air.  Sunlight spilled over the stone wall surrounding the garden, and the way he felt in that second—the peace that filled his body—he knew he’d never have it again.  This temporary stasis, this moment of rest was the exception to an otherwise deplorable existence.  What he wouldn’t give to stay like this forever, to never feel the soul-crushing pain that infused his body so that it was brimming with agony on a daily basis.  It was a life he could no longer remember.  It was a hope that died when Ivy chose Collin.  Ivy was his only reprieve, giving him—no feeding him—bits of pain to ease his suffering.  Now, the only thing he could do was survive.  Breathing deeply, Eric closed his eyes and was still for several moments.  The weakened moans that came from Julia’s dying body softened, until there was silence.

The peace shattered as Julia’s body went still.  The blood that flowed between her lips ceases.  She did not breathe.  The life was sucked out of her, destroyed by the brimstone.  Eric didn’t turn her into a Valefar.  As much fun as that would be, he didn’t want Ivy to know what he did. Not yet.

Eric lifted a small vial out of his pocket, and uncorked the top.  Holding it over Julia’s charred body, he let one drop of crystal clear liquid fall.  The drop floated down, as if it were a feather, and landed on her chest.  The droplet hissed before combusting in flames.  The air filled with the scent of jasmine, sulfur, and burnt flesh until a gust of wind carried it away.

The only trace of Julia’s death were golden scorch marks on the ground.  They formed a perfect silhouette of her body encompassing every detail, even the strands of her hair.  He stared, feeling neither relieved nor elated.  Eric didn’t expect to reveal in this moment, and he knew better than lingering about.  There was nothing to gloat about.  Julia was right about some things.  He was an abomination—a being with no race, a cruel creature that only felt good when others were in agony.  He pressed his lips together, and walked away.”

This was an excerpt of Chapter 1 from ASSASSIN: FALL OF THE GOLDEN VALEFAR.  (This is not the final copy, but I wanted to share!)  It is book #6 in the bestselling DEMON KISSED series by H.M. Ward.  Pre-order your signed copy of ASSASSIN now.  Release date: May 20, 2012.  I can’t wait to share it with you!!!

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Get Scandalous for under $5 today!

romance novel, erotic romance book, 50 shades of grey

SCANDALOUS by Ella Steele (my adult pen name) was released today!  Get it for only $4.99 for the next 24-hours!  That’s right, save at least $3.00 by grabbing SCANDALOUS now.

Kindle  –  Paperback  –  Nook  –  Signed Paperback

And yes, the woman on the cover has no bodice on–that’s paint!  The book cover is awesome!  I totally LOVE it and it goes with the book so wonderfully.  It’s awesome when that happens.

So, are you ready for a sizzling spring read?  Go grab it now and get enamored with Jack and Abby.  And of course, I LOVE to hear what you think.  Make sure you leave stars and a note saying what you liked about this book on Amazon.  I check those, ya know.  :o)  I appreciate every single review, and I cannot wait to hear what you think about this one.  My editors thought SCANDALOUS was kinda pushing the line, and I want to see what you guys think.

And I know I’ve said it already, but SCANDALOUS is not a kid book.  It’s a hot, sexy adult romance with sexual content inappropriate for younger readers.  That’s why my adult books are under a pen name.  Anything by Ella Steele is a mature book with adult content.

Get SCANDALOUS during the next 24 hours for only $4.99:  Kindle  –  Paperback  –  Nook  –  Signed Paperback

Thank you super fans!  You guys are totally awesome.  I wouldn’t have written this book if you guys hadn’t asked for more hotness.  ;o)

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